Being

Can Life Really Be 'Effortless'?

My husband is a chef. He loves to cook. He cooks all day and comes home every night to prepare dinner for our family. It’s not “work” to him because it’s something he enjoys.

I know many people who hate cooking after working all day, and I can’t say I blame them. They don’t share the same passion for the kitchen as my husband does, so cooking takes a lot of effort. But when we truly are passionate about something, anything, it feels effortless.

Well, what about life? Can it really be effortless? Decide that your life is exactly as it should be, and in this moment you have everything you need. Here are four tips to keep in mind:

Look at life as a mirror.

Our lives today are just a reflection of what we’re thinking. It’s easy to recognize it in extremes. Imagine someone you know who is always complaining. This person is miserable about everything, so anything that happens to him/her is bad. On the flip side, the person who is present connects with people, nature, in an effortless way. Look at life as a mirror, and show the world what you want to see!

Stop looking ahead and appreciate right now.

Sometimes we are so caught up in the day-to-day that we forget what we’re passionate about or why we chose the path we did. And then we get a case of “Greener Grass Syndrome.”

Take a little time to write down what you love about your life, how you can help others, what you are grateful for. By focusing on the giving and gratitude, you will always receive and have something to be grateful for. Your energy will be contagious and not only enhance your mood, attitude, and productivity, but it'll also improve your relationships!

Factor in some fun.

As life happens, it can clutter our time and space, and we may have limited time for fun and creativity. Revisit and remember dreams and desires from your younger years.

Think about your life, and recall some of your best early childhood memories! Take some time to remember games, hobbies, sports, and activities you loved.

Combine your dreams from the past with your core values and who you are today. Remove boundaries, and think of limitless possibilities of what your life can be. We can create whatever we want for our lives, and most importantly have FUN doing it!!

Eliminate the energy drainers.

Does effortless living mean having all of your ducks in a row, all of your finances in check, all of your relationships blissful? Only if you’re a superhero!!

Sometimes things feel beyond our control, and that’s ok, but there are many things we can take control of and consequently remove these energy drainers from our lives.

Make a list of the things that are on your mind, and tackle them one by one. For example, look at your physical environment -- cabinets, drawers, paperwork -- and clear the clutter. If your oil light is on in your car, change the oil.

Checking things off on your to-do list is an energy accelerator, so focus on what you CAN do and you’ll feel completely charged up, and an added bonus: you'll be amazed at the power you hold right now to create change.  

 

Seeing Things for the First Time...

"A blimp! A blimp, mommy!! I can't believe it's flying above our house!! It's SOOOO cool!!!" Millana sang and danced around the yard with EJ jumping and following behind, chiming in with "Whoa! Wow! A blimp!!"

It was genuine excitement for the Verizon advertisement that flew above our house, and it was absolutely priceless.

Just moments before the hubby and I were going over our to-do list for the following week and talking about the work that needs to get done in the house, mostly decorating stuff, but work none the less. The kids dancing around over the blimp blew all that "work" chatter into the water and we got up and danced right along with them.

I often feel blessed to be able to experience the world through the eyes of LuLu and Little Man. Like, their reaction when a flower pops up from the soil they've been watering, seeing a butterfly, dumping water from bucket to bucket, beating an egg - all of these things are a wonder to them, and it makes me wonder when and why we tend not to always see them the same as life happens. I mean, it IS amazing to watch a butterfly and the colors are just gorgeous, and there's even a simplistic beauty of water flowing from each glass, the brightness of the egg yolk and how it stays so perfectly round when it is first cracked.

Life is miraculous and I realize how to many people the simple things in life often "lose their luster", unknowingly, just because it's familiar. Think about it- even in relationships, after the "honeymoon" period, most couples fall into the rut of task-doing, sharing chores, not that these things aren't important, but often the "romance" takes second place to who is dropping off the dry cleaning. And, in work or business, the first day on the job  the new gal is gung-ho over it and years later she gets into "greener grass" mode, thinking it would have been nice to go down a different road. Or that home that you rushed to put a bid in on, that car that drove like butter now 30k overdue for an oil change - once the "newness" wears off why is it easy to forget what was once so incredible?

The thing is, our spirit, our essence, our "being" wants us to see everything as amazing, just as we did when we were children. It can be that the experiences we have may change the way we view the world, but if we connect back to who we were born to be, let go of the past without judgment, and truly BE in this moment, eyes open wider, and we see things as if for the first time.

Share with me what is amazing to you in this moment. For me, in this moment, I feel it is incredible that my fingers can touch a keyboard and the letters are appearing on a screen where anyone, anywhere in the world with the internet can read them!

The little things in life

Since this is my first post and the title of this website is "Being.com", I felt the following little story was perfect. 

Last night my wife, son, daughter and I were hanging out on our deck, cooking-up some food and enjoying the perfect New Jersey evening.  The temperature was around 65 degrees and there was not a hint of humidity in the air.  With the start of summer in full swing, my schedule allows me to be home with my family a lot more.  My 3 1/2-year-old daughter, Ashlyn, is certainly a momma's girl but with daddy around more, I noticed her gravitating towards me a bit more.  And trust me, it is a special feeling.  Rather than clinging to mommy, I found her clinging to daddy.

So my wife and I decided to switch roles for the evening.  She would take Matthew upstairs, read to him and tuck him in while Ashlyn and I would do something special, just the two of us.  While pondering on what we would do, I heard an airplane in the distance.  So with the little bit of sunlight we had left, we decided that we would sit on the outdoor couch together, stare at the sky and try to spot some planes.  For about a half hour, we bonded and played let's spot some airplanes.  The excitement that Ashlyn demonstrated every time we heard an airplane in the distance and then spotted it was more than special.  It actually strengthened out special little bond.  Just a little story I thought I'd share with all of you.  It really is the little things in life that matter.    - Tom Kersting

My New Bike!! Facing My Fears...

My husband surprised me with a new bike. It has been over fifteen years since I've actually owned a bike, and I have to admit, although I really wanted to ride (hence him surprising me with it!), I was kind of scared to actually get on the road.

Would I fall off? Would I be able to break? turn? avoid parked cars? Would a car not see me? Would I be able to go down hill? up hill?

I took a few minutes to introduce myself to the bike; road it gingerly up and down my block ON THE SIDEWALK. My neighbor saw me and smiled. I felt like I was 8 years old again, on my bike for the very first time- cautious, slow, using my feet to slow down.

The next morning I woke up ready to really face my fears and ride that bike on the road. Little man just woke up, Michael was drinking his morning coffee, Lulu was still asleep.

"I'll be right back, hon. I'm just going to ride up and down the street for five minutes. I want to get my bearings."

My husband laughed. Just the day before he road up and down along the beach for almost 2 hours. "Ok, babe," he said. "Have fun!"

Onto the street. Hmmm. It wasn't so bad. I picked up speed - kind of exhilarating. I biked around my neighborhood, wind in my hair, sun on my face, "Woo hoo!" I actually shouted OUT LOUD. A lady was walking her dog, and she laughed out loud. I waved - one hand even off the wheel!

A few blocks away from us homes are set on the water. It's just beautiful, very little traffic, serene. I biked up and down, back and forth, smiling the entire time. It was over 40 minutes, and I could have gone longer, but figured my Lulu would be waking up soon and wanted to give her a good morning kiss.

I walked in the door singing.

Adding In vs. Taking Away

Sometimes when we are aware that we'd like to make a change, we think about all the things we've done "wrong" or we have to "stop doing".  I know alot of people who are just plain old beating themselves up in the name of "motivation".

I say, flip your focus to what you want to "add into" your life vs. what you want to "take away". I mean, it is both frustrating and an energy drainer to worry about the things you have to give up! Once you start adding healthy, happy, authentic behaviors in your life, your body and mind will crave more of them, and more of them will flow naturally into your life!

Let's look at some examples:

"Take Away Mentality": I have to give up sweets. "Add In Mentality": I will eat more veggies.

"Take Away Mentality": I have to fight less with my partner. "Add In Mentality": I will love and communicate with my partner.

"Take Away Mentality": I have to lose this job and do something I really love. "Add In Mentality": I will put passion into whatever I am doing.

I think you get my drift.

Keep it simple. Write a list for yourself of ten great additions to your daily life and practice them one by one! Remember, we reap what we sow -this applies to our thoughts as they align with our actions! Our energy is like an echo- we get back what we put out there...are you thinking thoughts of limitations or possibilties? I prefer possibilities- so much more fun that way!!

What Will You Give Today?

"We make a living by what we get. We make a life by what we give."

~ Winston Churchill

What will you give today? A smile, an ear, a hand, a compliment?

I know there are days where we can be on "auto pilot" with our own to-do lists piling up, but when we step outside of ourselves, our lives open up to so much more. Problems seem smaller, stress disintegrates, shoulders loosen, happiness comes from the inside-out.

Make a choice today to be present, and 'give something' to every person you encounter. Heck if you're really feeling generous, you can buy the coffee for the person in line behind you at Dunkin Donuts! 

Being Thankful Even in Tough Times

Everything we go through serves a purpose, and we can definitely learn from each experience. I know it can be hard to realize this and change the way we think about things, especially if we’re going through a rough patch. Keep these 5 tips in mind to discover the power of gratitude and appreciation:

*There's Always Something
Maybe you are thinking you have nothing to be grateful for, so why bother? This way of looking at life is limiting- growth and change can’t happen in a limited mind. It may sound crazy, but we always get more of exactly what we are focusing on. Focus on being thankful, and you’ll get much to be thankful for in return!

*Writing Makes Us Happy
Keep a notebook by your bed. Before you go to sleep, take a few moments to reflect, and write down at least 5 things you are grateful for each day. Start with the obvious, and let it grow! Don't worry- if you're having a cruddy day, and feel the "WHY ME?" syndrome,  this exercise will DEFINITELY pull you out of your funk before it becomes an issue!

You can be thankful for the great parking space you got at the store, the delicious eggs you ate in the morning, the sound of your friends laughing, the list goes on and on! It’s amazing to see how this simple exercise will completely change your attitude towards life.

*No Judgment
We are own worst critics. If you spend time judging your life or your situations, you miss opportunities for growth and gratitude. So, things don’t always go perfectly. That’s ok! There is a reason, and one day it might be revealed. Trust that there is something to be thankful for in every event, and learn from it!

*Be the Inspiration
A thankful individual inspires people. When we meet someone who is authentic and grateful, we are motivated to give thanks, too! So, be the inspiration. The best part is, you may not ever know the effect you’ve had, but the Universe and God know. And, remember, karma my friends, karma-  the world delivers back what we give- it’s a win-win for us all!

*We Have Everything We Need
Believing in one's self is a huge factor for success.We are all complete, capable, whole, resourceful, and perfect now - in this moment. We live up to the image we hold of ourselves. Remember, we have everything we need to envision and attract abundance, so let’s be thankful for it!

Isn't it amazing?

I once heard that most people are asleep in their life and those that are awake are in a constant state of amazement.

I took it to heart and asked myself what I found amazing. It didn’t take too long to begin to discover that I might very well be asleep in some areas. Did I find my job amazing? What about my marriage is amazing? How about my family? It’s easy to be amazed when you are standing at the Grand Canyon, or looking into the caldera of Kilauea volcano, or other huge natural vistas, but what about other more subtle aspects of life? Clearly and honestly, amazement wasn’t my normal state of mind. It is pretty easy to be jaded.

It was at an airport that I began to think about how crazy it was to fly around in planes. At the time I was traveling and facilitating classes around the Pacific Rim. It hadn’t ever dawned on me that flying in large metal tubes with wings was amazing. Yet, when you stop and think about it though, this is insanely amazing. If you just wake up enough to notice the world you live in I am sure you can find some truly phenomenal acts of faith, like flying, that will amaze you.

What about the simple act of you getting up this morning and going about your day. It is amazing you’d do that without any guarantees it will work out. Or stay in bed. That would be amazing too. Do you have kids? That’s amazing! They are amazing!

The technology we use in everyday life now wasn’t even imagined when I was a kid. It’s amazing I lived long enough to see it! The very fact you are alive is a miracle. Think about all the correct decisions all of your ancestors had to make so you could be here. You are obviously descended from a long line of geniuses. How amazing is that?

Here’s what I discovered, amazement is truly in the eye of the beholder. I challenge you to notice something amazing around you today. Or better yet, empower others to do the same by you showing up and being awake. That would be amazing.

What Inspires You?

What Inspires You?

The word “inspire” means to stimulate an action, to elicit, to bring about, to motivate. But, if you dig a little deeper into the definition, “inspire” really means to “breathe life into” - so, let me rephrase my question, what breathes life into you? What fills you with passion, energy, contentment, peace?

There is no right or wrong answer, it’s just very interesting to hear what inspires each of us- it’s funny because although we are all different, we are all the same. And, I saw that even in the thousands of responses I received to this very question when I sent out a query on HARO.

So I picked some beautiful, authentic responses I received to share with you:

“I am inspired by beauty and kindness, flowers and people in bloom, and kisses from dogs and children."

Michele McKeag Larsen has just put up 8 bright yellow billboards promoting joy through her non-profit, The Joy Team; and hopes to spread joy, optimism and inspiration to millions.

http://TheJoyTeam.org/ | http://ISpyJoy.com/ | http://www.365awesome.com/”

"It inspires me to inspire others. Dispensing hope, especially in the darkest of times, can be an antidote to the fear and emotional overwhelm that grips us when we face difficulty. Although we can't solve people's problems we can give them a lift, cheer them on, and constantly offer a more positive view of life. I am a big fan of inspirational quotes. I call them chocolate for the soul."

Laurie Sue Brockway, Inspiration Editor, Beliefnet.com

http://www.beliefnet.com

“I am inspired and awed by the power of the human spirit to change, choose, create, and heal. Each of us is capable of creating miracles. One person working from her or his own truth can and does indeed make a huge difference."

 Kris Cahill is a professional clairvoyant reader and healer, teacher, and writer, based in Los Angeles. 

http://www.KrisCahill.com

"Im inspired by people who are completely open about how difficult things can be--marriage, kids, business."

Jennifer Zwiebel connects people to their joy and helps them activate limitless possibilities.

http://www.aplaceofjoy.com

"Dancing by myself up in my bedroom with my favorite music cranked as I offer gratitude and appreciation upward and outward is one of my personal, instant inspiration tools."

Annie Burnside is the author of “Soul to Soul Parenting”.

http://www.soultosoulparenting.com

“I'm inspired by waking up and having another day with all of its surprises. As a nurse for the past 29 years, I know tomorrow is not guaranteed.”

Mary Pitman, Chief Creative Officer, Green Light Inspirations

http://www.MySpiritualAffirmations.com

"My children's smiles ang hugs inpires me to be the best mom i can be!".

Monique

Owner and Designer, Lil' Sugarplum

http://www.Lilsugarplum.com

So, what inspires you?

Peace within the Storm

“Serenity is not freedom from the storm, but peace within the storm.”

I love this quote; it has meant so much in my life. A simple American Indian proverb that I have posted on my refrigerator serves as a way to keep me grounded during turbulent times. I think striving for a life free from problems is defeatist, and anyone will tell you, life can not be free from turmoil at times. Purpose tests us, throws us curve balls, there must be dark in order to appreciate the light. Remember the famous quote telling us that the true test of character is in watching a person rise after a fall? We all fall sometimes, and learn straight from a baby, when your bottom hits the floor, pick yourself back up!

I think if we can be present, even in the moment of the “storm”, we can still be at “peace”. Being present makes life a lot more enjoyable. For example, if the economy is personally affecting you (as it is millions of Americans right now), you can still have fun with your family, dance around the room, watch a great movie, laugh, say hi to a stranger. Our circumstances should not stop us from loving life. It is a gift, after all.